guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. they
had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he
asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially
the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for
the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the
quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's
only 25 cents!!!!
blonde and a Brunette walked in to a bar, sat down and looked
up at the T.V. The 6:00 news was on and there was a man about
to jump of a bridge. The brunette looks at the blonde and says
" I bet you $20 that he'll jump." The blonde says
"okay." 10 min. later, the man jumped. The blonde
turns to the brunette and says " I guess i owe you 20 dollers."
The brunette says " Oh, I can't take your money, I watched
the 5:00 news." The blonde says " Well so did I, But
I didn't think that he'd jump again!"
There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice.
When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going
to tell them apart?"
second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off
one of its legs?"
during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse
with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.''
So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs.
And so he did.
next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the
same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three
legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no
tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right,
that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!''
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the
police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said
he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds,
then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo
to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would
recognize the suspect.
she replied. ''He only has one eye.''
only has one ear,'' was her answer.
is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are
seeing him from the side!'' He repeated the procedure for the
third blonde, then said, ''How would you recognize the suspect?
Now think before you give me a stupid answer.''
viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, ''He's
wearing contact lenses.''
took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture
and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he
went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough,
when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses!
He went back to her and asked, ''How could you tell he was wearing
contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!''
she said, ''he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye
and one ear, now, can he?''
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